Monday, January 13, 2014

Tell Me When

The lovely Stina Lindenblatt is hosting the Tell Me When blogfest. Her new release TELL ME WHEN deals with the aftermath of a stalking incident that ended in a kidnapping. Powerful stuff. For each post in the blogfest this week, Stina will be donating to her local women's shelter.

As a teacher I've been involved in a very minor way with stalking incidents. I've seen the effects its had on the kids. Scary stuff.

In several cases, I've had kids in my class who've had to move and hide from an abusive parent. Restraining orders don't always work and these kids live with the worry that they'll be found. They often don't make friends easily for a couple of reasons. First, they know there's the probability that they'll need to move again - and at a moment's notice. Making friends only to have to break off all contact with them later is really, really hard. Second, they don't want to divulge much personal information and it's difficult to develop meaningful relationships when you don't discuss your personal life.

One day I hope we live in a world where kids can grow up in a safe environment where they never have to worry about a parent stalking or abusing them.

Check out Stina's blog for more links to the blogfest.

30 comments:

  1. That is so frightening!I feel sheltered...I somehow never realized that parents could be stalkers but it makes so much sense. Those poor kids.

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  2. Having to move to hide from a parent is a scary thing. That's something my generation just didn't have to deal with.

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  3. It's so sad thinking of kids having to hide from a parent. Bad enough when an adult is scared and has to hide. Thanks for being part of Stina's blog hop. My post is Wednesday.

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  4. It's very serious stuff. We had a lockdown at the school here last year because of a parent situation--it's not good for anyone.

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  5. Elizabeth - sadly it happens far too often

    Alex - I know - sadly I've seen it happen quite a lot

    Natalie - it is tough and those kids learn very early on to not trust easily. It's so important to help them through

    Jeff - we've had that a few times here too. It's scary for everyone!

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  6. Thanks for posting this. It is a very real and serious subject and thus a blogfest worth participating in. Thanks!

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  7. After being a foster parent for four years, I know that dangerous parents are out there. It's really sad.

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  8. I feel so bad for the kids that have had to go through this. So unfair.

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  9. I knew about the stalking problem in abusive relationships (spouses, boyfriends), but I'd never realized this could happen in a child-parent relationship. That breaks my heart!

    Thanks, Jemi, for participating in my blog hop and sharing this.

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  10. When I was a kid I could ride my bike with my friends all over and come back whenever the sun went down. Nothing bad ever happened. But this is a totally different world we live in. I don't see it getting any better any time soon.

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  11. I've seen it too and it is heart-breaking. Kids used as leverage by one parent over another. And when it's your own parents using you to get back at one another, it's not easy for the child to escape it. Safe zones are hard to find.

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  12. That is so sad, Jemi. On my way to read your post.

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  13. Yvonne - I agree - it's very worthwhile!

    Diane - yay for you! Foster parents are incredibly important and amazing people!

    Susanne - it really is unfair. No kid should have to live in fear and worry!

    Stina - you're very welcome - it's a great blogfest!

    Stephen - I hope that's not true even though all indications point in that direction. But we have to get better at taking care of our kids!

    Kim - exactly! It is incredibly sad that these kids never feel safe.

    Beth - it really is! Thanks :)

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  14. This is so real... so sad... so unfair!
    Thanks for sharing this Jemi!
    Writer In Transit

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  15. That is frightening. I haven't seen this yet as a teacher, but maybe it's happened without me knowing about it.

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  16. Michelle - it really is! I wish reality was better for a lot of kids!

    Medeia - I'm glad you haven't seen it. I've seen it far too often and it always breaks my heart.

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  17. As a teacher, I also had some instances of kids having to hide from and avoid parents. We had parents come to the school and have to be restrained by personnel until police arrived. It happens way too often.

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  18. Susan - I've been involved in a few of those too. Scary trying to hold back a drunk/high parent from entering a classroom. Hope I don't have to do that again!

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  19. It's so scary that kind of thing happens. :(

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  20. Excellent post, Jemi. Stalking is a horrible crime.

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  21. I've been seeing Stina's book all over the past couple days. Yay! It's on my TBR!

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  22. Carol - it certainly is! Thanks.

    Tara - me too! She's done a great thing here :)

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  23. This is something I've never given a lot of thought to, but I can see how it would harm a child. Or anyone. It is scary. It is great, though, when authors will write books for a cause and send all the money to them.

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  24. Hi, Jemi,

    There are so many things happening to kids that shouldn't and for the most part, many of us don't know how these traumatic experiences affect them.

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  25. yes, especially since what happens to you as a kid stays with you forever influencing the way you will be shaped as a person, and if you had tough childhood you will have difficult social life later on. I should know.
    While I worked as a teacher, I always paid special attention to quiet kids, giving them words of encouragement and love.

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  26. =( That breaks my heart--kids not feeling like they can be kids because it will result in pain or alienation from their peers. I guess we don't live in a perfect world, eh?

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  27. Jack - totally agree! I love when people reach out to help!!

    JL - exactly! Kids are so much tougher than we expect, but I wish they didn't need to be.

    Dezzy - I try to do the same. So many kids who cross my path need some extra TLC. I'm hope I can be there for them.

    Crystal - it is heart breaking. Kids should be free to have their childhoods free of pain and fear.

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  28. It saddens me to remember the world I grew up in and look at the world my grandkids have to deal with.

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  29. Linda - so true. It's a very different place. In some ways better but in others so much worse.

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