Wednesday, October 17, 2018

WEP - Deja Vu

The results weren’t good enough.

Again.

Jonah’s research and planning had been thorough. Now, he’d have to reanalyze his data to figure out where it had all gone sideways. No matter how careful and methodical he was, he just couldn’t emulate the results of that first trial.

Disappointment seeped into his bones until Jonah wanted to weep. His premise was sound, the research was solid, his planning meticulous. He needed to figure out how to extrapolate that research into reality. Nothing counted except results.

With a sigh, Jonah pulled out his cell phone to document the current mess. He’d gone into this knowing that it would take multiple trials before he found consistent success, but that first lucky hit had made each subsequent failure more difficult.

Which variable was he missing? Was it in the timing, the speed, the angles?

Jonah took photos from all directions looking for anything that would show him the way out of this deja vu cycle of failure.

A scrap of noise had Jonah jolting up from the pavement. He’d gotten so caught up in the failure, he’d lost track of his surroundings. Moving out of the light, Jonah gathered his nerves along with his knives. He needed to get home, analyze his mistake, and prepare so he could continue his work.

As he eased away from the circle of light, Jonah caught glimpses of where he’d erred and where he’d succeeded. The body lay perfectly centred in the pool of blood, but the wounds weren’t symmetrical. The facial expression showed a moment of confusion, not fear.

Jonah took one last picture.

Next time it would be perfect.

Next time.

***

This is my first time participating in the WEP challenge. Hope you'll check out the rest of the entries for the twin themes of Deja Vu & Voodoo!

75 comments:

  1. This is so open to interpretation and engages the imagination so effectively. I'm curious to know more, Jemi. *Shivers.* Well done. Hope you continue with the story.

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  2. And welcome to WEP, Jemi. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

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    1. Thanks Adura!
      I've had lots of fun reading other entries so I may have to jump in the pool next month too! :)

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  3. Welcome to WEP - and I look forward to reading more stories. If this one is anything to go by they'll be a good read. Inside the mind of a murderer? He seems so earnest and focussed on his 'research' I thought he was a victim, not a perpetrator. Well done.

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    1. Thanks so much Kalpanaa! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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  4. Very creepy. I wonder if that's how a murderer really thinks?

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  5. A murderer carving up bodies with precision, for research? Or is it more complicated?
    "He needed to figure out how to extrapolate that research into reality." That line is CHILLING! What reality? Possibilities are scary! *shivers*
    Great piece, Jemi!

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    1. Thanks Michelle! The possibilities are such fun!

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  6. Ooh, creepy! And appropriately seasonal ;)

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  7. Seriously creepy! Dark territory in that murderer's psyche.

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    1. Thanks Rebecca - 'tis the season for creepy after all!

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  8. BRRRR! Chilling! And you fooled me, too. Because I worked in a research lab years ago, that's where my mind was at in the beginning of your tale, but you sure fixed THAT! Great job.

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    1. LOL - so glad to throw you off a little bit!! :)

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    2. CONGRATULATIONS on the win! Your story is over-the-top creepy and the win is well-deserved.

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    3. Thanks so much Susan!!! I'm glad it had the desired impact! :)

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  9. Welcome to the WEP and with such an exceptional start. You've got the murderous touch! :)

    Happy Halloween!

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  10. Blood, body, knives... That is a really scary story, more so because most of the details are left to the reader's imagination.

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    1. Thanks Olga - I tend to let the readers figure out all that description stuff! :P

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  11. Oooh.
    I am grateful to read this as the day dawns rather than dims.
    And loved this peek into a psychopath's head. And frustrations.

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  12. Hi Jemi! Welcome to WEP! So glad you took the plunge and didn't you plunge in! I loved the mystery of it, seemingly so innocent. You led us on beautifully...then...pow...'Jonah gathered his nerves along with his knives - the first indication to me that there were further depths to plunge. Very chilling to think he's going to keep on killing with precision until he gets it right. Hmm. Shades of The Fall.

    Well done you and I hope we see you again in December. See? It's not so hard is it?

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    1. Thanks Denise! Shorts have always terrified me but I've been having fun with them recently! :)

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  13. I was led astray thinking of an object he was building, but it appears he wants to do the perfect murder? I guess there are perfectionists in all walks of life. Hope I don't meet this one. Welcome to the WEP challenge. Enjoyed your entry.

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    1. Thanks DG!
      I hope no one comes across him either!

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  14. The blood the screams
    playing over and over
    in my head as I place
    the body just so.
    All must be right.
    Nothing out of place.
    My God get it right,
    do it over again and again.
    I know this is true
    the voices keep telling me

    "AGAIN"!

    Good story. One could get into this.

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    1. Thank you!!!
      Love the poem - it fits right in! :)

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  15. Oh yeah, this was creepily awesome. I suppose serial murder can feel like deja vu, lol. This was awesome; an empathetic character, all the way to the end. Well done.

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  16. Ooh, I felt empathy for him in the beginning and now I'm not quite sure what he's up to. Very creepy!

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    1. Yay - I think it worked the way I wanted it to work :)

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  17. Thanks for taking part in WEP! I felt his frustration, and I want to know more about why he's engaged in such nefarious experimentation. I'm intrigued!

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  18. Hi, Jemi! Welcome to the WEP challenge. This prompt was certainly an EYE OPENER.... You certainly let me in a different direction at first. I thought he was a medical examiner or something. Then WHAM! Nicely done... smooth and very clean writing...

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    1. Thanks Michael! I'm glad the twist worked :)

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  19. Wow,he was a perfectionist with his murders. This does capture a twisted psyche. And the ending was unexpected.

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  20. This was creepy and dark and very apt - a finicky perfectionist murderer! Welcome to WEP, and I look forward to reading more from you.

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to joining in again! :)

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  21. Hi Jemi - that was really 'horrid' ... and experimenting like that ... yugh - can you tell me where Jonah is - as I need to make sure I don't go near his city!! I'd loathe to be part of his experiment!! Brilliantly done - as they others have implied I thought we were in a research lab ... now I have to face the rest of the day - good to see you here - cheers Hilary

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    1. LOL - I'm pretty sure he's nowhere near your location, Hilary! :)

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  22. Wow, that's great, Jemi! I love the way you inch the reader into the scene, first making it sound one way and then adding creepy but interesting details! Way to go!

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    1. Thanks Dawn - it was so much fun to write! :)

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  23. This is terrible in the best possible way. What a creepy story. I wonder if he'll stop his experiments once he gets it just right? So glad you decided to join us this month. Great post.

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  24. Woah...That was an awesome ending. Didn't see it coming at all!

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  25. An impressive and twisted first entry for you WEP debut. Well done.

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    1. Thanks Christopher - twisted is always fun ... in writing anyway!

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  26. And Jonah seemed like such a industrious guy at the beginning. I kind of liked him.

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  27. One researcher, if he thinks himself that, I wouldn't want to run into. Although death is the ultimate cure, huh? lol

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    1. LOL - it absolutely is - unless we're talking about your story!

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  28. Great build-up, didn't realise until the end what his research was for, great to keep the suspense going.

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  29. The horror builds and echoes in my head. Brilliant piece - and so tight. Cut to the skin.

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    1. Thanks so much Roland! Glad you enjoyed it :)

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  30. Quite tantalizing, Jemi. I loved the opening line and I had to find out what the results were and for what.

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  31. Intriguing. And increasingly creepy. Thanks for sending a wee chill up my spine.

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  32. Nice work with the creepy character! You did a good job on this story. Glad you took part.

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  33. I hate it when murder isn't perfect. Ha ha. Good story!

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  34. Congratulations on your WEP award. I read your tale and shuddered - and wasn't alone.

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    1. Thanks so much! I'm honoured and thrilled! :)

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  35. Congratulations on your award. Nicely done.

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  36. Congratulations on the award - persistence pays off when the right photo is needed...or body.

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