Monday, April 15, 2019

WEP Challenge: Play On

Update!
I'm thrilled to share this badge announcing this little story placed 1st in the WEP challenge this time around. Thank you so much! Definitely check out this link to the rest of the fabulous stories for the challenge!


***
Tinny music filled the room as the ballerina twirled on her stand. Scratches marred the pink tutu, but her smile remained intact.
Beethoven attempted to soothe the soul.
Or was it Bach? Brahms?
Da da, da da, da da, da da, dum.
Maybe Tchaikovsky.
He’d heard her play it so many times. Her hands had moved like butterflies over the keys. When they’d first met, he’d told her that her music was magic made to lure men in.
As they’d gotten to know each other better, he’d called it foreplay. And they’d made good on all the sensual promises in the notes.
Da da, da da, da da, da da, dum.
Beethoven. He was sure it was Beethoven.
He brushed the diamonds he’d given her in Venice. Her joy had shone brighter than the full moon. He’d professed his love that night while the gondolier serenaded.
The music slowed and he reached to wind it again before it stopped.
Da da, dum.
They’d traveled to so many wonderful places while she played for audiences, each one larger than the last. He’d bought her baubles and bits to make her smile. Silly tourist keychains meant as much to her as the sapphires and rubies.
He cradled her hand, seeing the agile one that once stroked the ivories with such grace. And love. She’d touched everything with love. Especially him.
He held her hand while Beethoven played and the ballerina twirled.
He held her hand while he relived their love and their lives.
He wound the box again and again.
Da da, da da, da da, da da, dum.
He held her hand as it grew cold.
And still he held her hand.

***
This is an entry for the WEP Challenge for April: Jewel Box.
Check out the link for links to all of the other entries - the entires are always amazing. Love seeing how the prompt ends up differently for everyone.

How about you? Do you enjoy writing flash fiction? Do you find prompts easy to work with or do they drive you batty?

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64 comments:

  1. Elizabeth Spann CraigApril 15, 2019 at 11:16 AM

    Wow, wonderful job with this prompt! Love the way you evoke emotion with just a few words.

    I am actually really awful with short stories and flash fiction! Not my forte, for sure. But I love reading them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 15, 2019 at 7:46 PM

      Thanks Elizabeth.
      I just started doing short stories with the Tick Tock anthology - now I'm hooked!

      Delete
  2. Mason CanyonApril 15, 2019 at 7:10 PM

    Ah, you brought tears to my eyes with that ending. Wonderful job, Jemi.

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  3. Natalie AguirreApril 15, 2019 at 7:21 PM

    I agree with Elizabeth. You do evoke a lot of emotions here. I really enjoyed your story.

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  4. Denise Covey April 16, 2019 at 1:42 AM

    Jemi, I'm all choked up. This was so evocative and absolutely beautiful. Love the pace. Love the onomatopoeia. Loved the imagery. Fantastic work!
    Thanks for posting in busy ole April!

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    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 16, 2019 at 9:00 AM

      Thanks so much, Denise - your words mean a lot!!

      Delete
  5. cleemckenzieApril 16, 2019 at 11:34 AM

    This was great, Jemi. I really felt for the man. What a sadness this evoked.

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    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 16, 2019 at 12:04 PM

      Thanks Lee! Emotion is my favourite thing about writing! :)

      Delete
  6. Elephant's ChildApril 16, 2019 at 4:01 PM

    Heartrendingly beautiful. Precious, painful memories...

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    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 16, 2019 at 7:40 PM

      Thanks Sue - glad it evoked a strong response!

      Delete
  7. Olga GodimApril 16, 2019 at 6:09 PM

    So sad and heart-wrenching and beautiful. So much love in such a short piece.

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  8. NasreenApril 16, 2019 at 7:41 PM

    Well-written, Jemi. I could feel all the feels!

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  9. Pat GarciaApril 17, 2019 at 7:03 AM

    Hi,
    I love this story because it shows the positives effects of love when two people commit themselves to moving through life together until death parts them.
    Beautifully written, it drew me in from the beginning.

    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G

    ReplyDelete
  10. J Lenni DornerApril 17, 2019 at 7:30 AM

    Aww, so very sad. But so much love! Good work.

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  11. Tyrean MartinsonApril 17, 2019 at 12:55 PM

    This story brought tears to my eyes. I love the replay of memories for each winding turn of the jewel box. Beautiful!

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  12. LD MastersonApril 17, 2019 at 9:18 PM

    Beautifully done.

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  13. Rebecca M. DouglassApril 18, 2019 at 5:10 AM

    Aw! Lovely story, just sweet. The ending is perfect.

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  14. Nilanjana BoseApril 18, 2019 at 5:35 AM

    Very evocative, very emotional. Loved the ending. For some reason, it reminded me of My Lady D'Arbanville. A very creative take on the prompt.

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  15. Carrie AnnApril 18, 2019 at 11:15 AM

    Such a powerful and moving story! Left me in tears at the end. Well written!

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    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 19, 2019 at 3:09 PM

      Thanks Carrie Ann - sorry about the tears tho! :)

      Delete
  16. L.G. KeltnerApril 18, 2019 at 12:13 PM

    Wow! This tale is short but powerful! I love the way you used the music and the memories to create so many feelings. So sad but so filled with love. Brilliant!

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  17. BernadetteApril 18, 2019 at 12:51 PM

    So much emotion, told so powerfully with this simple story.

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    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 19, 2019 at 3:11 PM

      Thanks Bernadette - my flash does tend to be very short! :)

      Delete
  18. D.G. HudsonApril 19, 2019 at 1:49 AM

    There must have been a lot of lovely moments to remember. It must have been a life well lived. You captured the feelings of loss, but also the heady feelings of love.

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    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 19, 2019 at 3:12 PM

      Thanks DG - In my head they had such a lovely, lovely life together :)

      Delete
  19. Hilary Melton-ButcherApril 19, 2019 at 4:25 AM

    Hi Jemi - what a wonderful story ... and yes I could feel her slipping finally away as he held her hand, his memories swirling as he rewound the little jewel box. Really excellent - delightful, yet so sad ... cheers Hilary

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    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 19, 2019 at 3:12 PM

      Thanks so much Hilary - glad it was effective :)

      Delete
  20. Toi ThomasApril 19, 2019 at 7:15 PM

    I like that the box was a music box with a dancing ballerina who twirled and brought him comfort in his moment of sadness and grief. Lovely story.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost April 20, 2019 at 7:34 PM

    Beautifully written. Brought a tear to my eye!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Roland D. YeomansApril 21, 2019 at 12:37 AM

    It is such a lovely story, though veined with sadness and yearning. A tragedy delayed my entry and birthed the story I told, names changed to protect the guilty. https://rolandyeomans.blogspot.com/2019/04/weprif.html

    ReplyDelete
  23. Roland ClarkeApril 21, 2019 at 2:19 AM

    Your few words as precise as fingers on ivory conjured tears.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 21, 2019 at 3:59 PM

      That is so lovely - thank you!

      Delete
    2. Roland ClarkeApril 30, 2019 at 8:36 PM

      Congratulations on a well-deserved win, Jemi. Your piece was so deftly crafted.

      Delete
    3. Jemi FraserMay 1, 2019 at 9:36 AM

      Thanks so much Roland!! :)

      Delete
  24. N. R. WilliamsApril 22, 2019 at 12:33 PM

    Hi Jemi
    Such a sweet and sad story. I love how he remembers her and compares the music and jewelry, both real and costume. Well written.
    Nancy

    ReplyDelete
  25. Operation AwesomeApril 23, 2019 at 2:02 AM

    There's so much more going on in this story than one can find at first read. Very nice work with the layering.

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  26. Michelle WallaceApril 23, 2019 at 2:37 PM

    A lifetime of love and devotion in such a few words...
    Beautiful, Jemi.
    This tugged at the heartstrings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 23, 2019 at 6:42 PM

      Thanks Michelle - I'm glad it worked :)

      Delete
    2. Michelle WallaceApril 30, 2019 at 10:42 AM

      Congratulations on your WEP award!
      Your story was really lovely with all those layers... a well deserved win.

      Delete
    3. Jemi FraserApril 30, 2019 at 10:58 AM

      Thanks so much, Michelle! :)

      Delete
  27. JamieApril 23, 2019 at 7:55 PM

    Going for a lot of feels there!!! Powerful.

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  28. Nick WilfordApril 24, 2019 at 3:15 PM

    So sad, but uplifting at the same time - so much love! Wonderful job.

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  29. Jemima PettApril 26, 2019 at 4:36 PM

    Oh, how beautiful. Reminds me of my father...

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  30. Elephant's ChildApril 29, 2019 at 12:47 AM

    HUGE congratulations on your WEP award.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jemi FraserApril 29, 2019 at 6:36 PM

      Thanks so much, Sue. What a thrill - there were so many great stories!! :)

      Delete
  31. Toi ThomasMay 1, 2019 at 1:03 AM

    Congratulations on your win. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely story.

    ReplyDelete