tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post954288407404844503..comments2024-03-10T19:26:35.256-04:00Comments on Just Jemi: IWSG and Lessons LearnedJemi Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-7225452034880391162017-07-07T14:08:56.038-04:002017-07-07T14:08:56.038-04:00Critiquing is a learned skill just like writing is...Critiquing is a learned skill just like writing is, and often it's folks newer to it who haven't developed the art of discerning which things are genuine "writing problems" and which are personal reading preferences. I've definitely had some of those harsh comments meant to back my story into the CP's style preference corner. <br /><br />I try to use those experiences to help me be a better CP and better editor. There are ways to talk about your concerns without crushing anyone's spirit. Laurel Garverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03657218435228802535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-89925068201456034812017-07-07T02:25:45.697-04:002017-07-07T02:25:45.697-04:00Oh, gosh, I hate critiques that are so needlessly ...Oh, gosh, I hate critiques that are so needlessly cruel like that. Sorry her comments affected you like they did, but I'm glad you're away from such negativity now...Heather R. Holdenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04309060285955963459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-23284403504746817632017-07-06T20:25:14.437-04:002017-07-06T20:25:14.437-04:00Thank Gary! I'm definitely happier with the ya...Thank Gary! I'm definitely happier with the yaysayers like you and Penny in my world!! :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-85403877867098267302017-07-06T19:11:33.724-04:002017-07-06T19:11:33.724-04:00Hey Jemi,
I don't blame you for not exactly a...Hey Jemi,<br /><br />I don't blame you for not exactly appreciating her crit style. I'm sure you're quite correct, that actually, the problem was within her and her negative, spiteful attitude, thinly disguised as alleged human. Nope, you don't need that sort of garbage. <br /><br />I've never had a crit buddy. Correction, Penny is my crit buddy. However, she's kind and constructive in any criticism of my writing. Then again, as you will know, she an acclaimed pawblisher! :)<br /><br />Have a good one and keep focusing on those who are yaysayers, not naysayers.<br /><br />Gary :) klahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-68295504358857161732017-07-06T17:04:59.548-04:002017-07-06T17:04:59.548-04:00I think you do as well - that kind of senseless na...I think you do as well - that kind of senseless nastiness is hard to take!Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-85009925088228014762017-07-06T17:04:16.320-04:002017-07-06T17:04:16.320-04:00So true! I'm sure my experience isn't unco...So true! I'm sure my experience isn't uncommon. Almost every writer I know is kind and generous with their time. Sounds like you've hit some good ones too! :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-74160709410750871122017-07-06T17:02:45.756-04:002017-07-06T17:02:45.756-04:00That's what I had before - and what I've g...That's what I had before - and what I've got now - just that one anomaly! Hard to take :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-2263641595635591762017-07-06T04:08:18.298-04:002017-07-06T04:08:18.298-04:00I have one of my translating editors who is cruel ...I have one of my translating editors who is cruel like that, when she's done with editing grammar in our translations we usually feel like stupid little kids :) Ain't good for the self esteem indeed. Others don't do that. And I think I know enough grammar after ten years of work DEZMONDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14127166104359407763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-64760592724080163882017-07-06T00:43:00.410-04:002017-07-06T00:43:00.410-04:00HI, Jemi,
How awful for you. I think we have all ...HI, Jemi,<br /><br />How awful for you. I think we have all experienced a crit partner like that as some point in our journey. I did when I first started, but thankfully the others in the group we kind and very helpful. <br /><br />Crit buddies sadly come and go, but at some point you will have those treasured few that you can rely on. It's also good to every now and then said it to a close writer friend if they have the time. I was thankful that I had a male POV on one of my novels. He had some amazing insight especially since this MC is a teenage male.<br /><br />Happy to hear that you are back on track and loving writing again.Michael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-4842858437316218092017-07-06T00:42:02.175-04:002017-07-06T00:42:02.175-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Michael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-41849619730695921392017-07-05T23:10:19.643-04:002017-07-05T23:10:19.643-04:00I've been lucky that my crit partners have bee...I've been lucky that my crit partners have been pretty supportive. I don't always agree with their comments, and I learned to take some of their comments with a grain of salt, but overall they've been great.Chemist Kenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09738272332470397248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-25133668626850083712017-07-05T18:42:41.755-04:002017-07-05T18:42:41.755-04:00Thanks Leslie! I definitely loved having a solid t...Thanks Leslie! I definitely loved having a solid tribe!! :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-17156045414353526842017-07-05T18:04:26.050-04:002017-07-05T18:04:26.050-04:00Once you find the critique tribe that "gets y...Once you find the critique tribe that "gets you" it does make all the difference. Bravo for you realizing how that person was tearing you down. Hugs.Leslie S. Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17122865337924270039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-37110295193925938322017-07-05T13:14:10.218-04:002017-07-05T13:14:10.218-04:00So glad you were able to recognize that! It was su...So glad you were able to recognize that! It was such a blow and it's taken a long time to get through it. I don't understand nastiness!Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-41524696380962715292017-07-05T13:13:10.799-04:002017-07-05T13:13:10.799-04:00I agree. It was definitely a learning experience -...I agree. It was definitely a learning experience - and one I don't wish to repeat :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-57532723804896526982017-07-05T13:11:56.759-04:002017-07-05T13:11:56.759-04:00I had a beta reader once who was rude and nasty in...I had a beta reader once who was rude and nasty in all of her comments for no reason other than to tear me and my story down, and make it seem like the author (me) was doing an awful job. Like you, that came at a time when I was vulnerable and it hurt a lot. It was also not true and uncalled for.Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-34054636651917060842017-07-05T13:01:07.451-04:002017-07-05T13:01:07.451-04:00That's an awesome mantra!!! I'll be adopti...That's an awesome mantra!!! I'll be adopting that one! :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-1219568946549817172017-07-05T12:47:05.356-04:002017-07-05T12:47:05.356-04:00Ouch. I haven't had any experiences that bad. ...Ouch. I haven't had any experiences that bad. I've also learned how to balance the positive and the negative when I give feedback. I think it's difficult to critique partner with someone who writes in a different genre.Susan Gourley/Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02669793865290876168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-57321458081732790622017-07-05T12:01:56.308-04:002017-07-05T12:01:56.308-04:00We are! It was completely devastating at the time ...We are! It was completely devastating at the time but I've found perspective and I'm glad she's outside of my circle now :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-51908090098768427182017-07-05T12:00:58.661-04:002017-07-05T12:00:58.661-04:00Totally agree! I miss my other ladies from the cri...Totally agree! I miss my other ladies from the crit group, but it was an all or nothing situation and I'm better off this way :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-79277026285332104922017-07-05T12:00:06.598-04:002017-07-05T12:00:06.598-04:00We won't Karen! Joy is too precious and we'...We won't Karen! Joy is too precious and we'll hang on tightly. Took me a while to get my mojo back, but I'm there :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-90673526396540710052017-07-05T11:26:58.569-04:002017-07-05T11:26:58.569-04:00My mantra for this decade has become, "Avoid ...My mantra for this decade has become, "Avoid the toxic people." Makes life so much more pleasant, and it gives time to fill my life with people I enjoy. Thanks for the story and congratulations for moving on after that experience.cleemckenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15456109243453726483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-84115955570539896712017-07-05T11:17:58.260-04:002017-07-05T11:17:58.260-04:00Omigosh, yes. When I started, I belonged to two wo...Omigosh, yes. When I started, I belonged to two wonderful online critique groups. People went their own ways and I searched for another one. The one I found had a few members like your person. I was affected the same as you. It took a while after I left for me to get over it. It's really hard because like with you, some of the comments were good and I learned. But I could no longer take all the other. We're better for the experience. Right?Carol Kilgorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03745686632918324803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-26235508118168389672017-07-05T10:42:55.718-04:002017-07-05T10:42:55.718-04:00I did work with one partner like that. She ultimat...I did work with one partner like that. She ultimately decided to back away from critiquing because her life was too insane, and I can't say I'm sorry. Any experienced critique partner will lift you up while posing questions that take your game to a new level. If they don't, they're not worth keeping around.Crystal Collierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03912469552483168148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6913682603555541882.post-66750374935541392902017-07-05T09:03:56.236-04:002017-07-05T09:03:56.236-04:00That is tough! It really is difficult to find the ...That is tough! It really is difficult to find the right group and it's interesting how one person can throw off the balance of the entire group. Glad you're in a good spot now!Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.com