Monday, April 15, 2019

WEP Challenge: Play On

Update!
I'm thrilled to share this badge announcing this little story placed 1st in the WEP challenge this time around. Thank you so much! Definitely check out this link to the rest of the fabulous stories for the challenge!



***
Tinny music filled the room as the ballerina twirled on her stand. Scratches marred the pink tutu, but her smile remained intact.
Beethoven attempted to soothe the soul.
Or was it Bach? Brahms?
Da da, da da, da da, da da, dum.
Maybe Tchaikovsky.
He’d heard her play it so many times. Her hands had moved like butterflies over the keys. When they’d first met, he’d told her that her music was magic made to lure men in.
As they’d gotten to know each other better, he’d called it foreplay. And they’d made good on all the sensual promises in the notes.
Da da, da da, da da, da da, dum.
Beethoven. He was sure it was Beethoven.
He brushed the diamonds he’d given her in Venice. Her joy had shone brighter than the full moon. He’d professed his love that night while the gondolier serenaded.
The music slowed and he reached to wind it again before it stopped.
Da da, dum.
They’d traveled to so many wonderful places while she played for audiences, each one larger than the last. He’d bought her baubles and bits to make her smile. Silly tourist keychains meant as much to her as the sapphires and rubies.
He cradled her hand, seeing the agile one that once stroked the ivories with such grace. And love. She’d touched everything with love. Especially him.
He held her hand while Beethoven played and the ballerina twirled.
He held her hand while he relived their love and their lives.
He wound the box again and again.
Da da, da da, da da, da da, dum.
He held her hand as it grew cold.
And still he held her hand.

***
This is an entry for the WEP Challenge for April: Jewel Box.
Check out the link for links to all of the other entries - the entires are always amazing. Love seeing how the prompt ends up differently for everyone.

How about you? Do you enjoy writing flash fiction? Do you find prompts easy to work with or do they drive you batty?

66 comments:

  1. Wow, wonderful job with this prompt! Love the way you evoke emotion with just a few words.

    I am actually really awful with short stories and flash fiction! Not my forte, for sure. But I love reading them.

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    1. Thanks Elizabeth.
      I just started doing short stories with the Tick Tock anthology - now I'm hooked!

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  2. Ah, you brought tears to my eyes with that ending. Wonderful job, Jemi.

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  3. I agree with Elizabeth. You do evoke a lot of emotions here. I really enjoyed your story.

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  4. Jemi, I'm all choked up. This was so evocative and absolutely beautiful. Love the pace. Love the onomatopoeia. Loved the imagery. Fantastic work!
    Thanks for posting in busy ole April!

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    1. Thanks so much, Denise - your words mean a lot!!

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  5. This was great, Jemi. I really felt for the man. What a sadness this evoked.

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    1. Thanks Lee! Emotion is my favourite thing about writing! :)

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  6. Heartrendingly beautiful. Precious, painful memories...

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    1. Thanks Sue - glad it evoked a strong response!

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  7. So sad and heart-wrenching and beautiful. So much love in such a short piece.

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    1. Thanks Olga - I'm glad the love comes through

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  8. Well-written, Jemi. I could feel all the feels!

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  9. Hi,
    I love this story because it shows the positives effects of love when two people commit themselves to moving through life together until death parts them.
    Beautifully written, it drew me in from the beginning.

    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G

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  10. Aww, so very sad. But so much love! Good work.

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  11. This story brought tears to my eyes. I love the replay of memories for each winding turn of the jewel box. Beautiful!

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  12. Aw! Lovely story, just sweet. The ending is perfect.

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  13. Very evocative, very emotional. Loved the ending. For some reason, it reminded me of My Lady D'Arbanville. A very creative take on the prompt.

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  14. Such a powerful and moving story! Left me in tears at the end. Well written!

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    1. Thanks Carrie Ann - sorry about the tears tho! :)

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  15. Wow! This tale is short but powerful! I love the way you used the music and the memories to create so many feelings. So sad but so filled with love. Brilliant!

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  16. So much emotion, told so powerfully with this simple story.

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    1. Thanks Bernadette - my flash does tend to be very short! :)

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  17. There must have been a lot of lovely moments to remember. It must have been a life well lived. You captured the feelings of loss, but also the heady feelings of love.

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    1. Thanks DG - In my head they had such a lovely, lovely life together :)

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  18. Hi Jemi - what a wonderful story ... and yes I could feel her slipping finally away as he held her hand, his memories swirling as he rewound the little jewel box. Really excellent - delightful, yet so sad ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Thanks so much Hilary - glad it was effective :)

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  19. I like that the box was a music box with a dancing ballerina who twirled and brought him comfort in his moment of sadness and grief. Lovely story.

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  20. Beautifully written. Brought a tear to my eye!

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  21. It is such a lovely story, though veined with sadness and yearning. A tragedy delayed my entry and birthed the story I told, names changed to protect the guilty. https://rolandyeomans.blogspot.com/2019/04/weprif.html

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  22. Your few words as precise as fingers on ivory conjured tears.

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    1. That is so lovely - thank you!

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    2. Congratulations on a well-deserved win, Jemi. Your piece was so deftly crafted.

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    3. Thanks so much Roland!! :)

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  23. Hi Jemi
    Such a sweet and sad story. I love how he remembers her and compares the music and jewelry, both real and costume. Well written.
    Nancy

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  24. There's so much more going on in this story than one can find at first read. Very nice work with the layering.

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  25. A lifetime of love and devotion in such a few words...
    Beautiful, Jemi.
    This tugged at the heartstrings.

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    1. Thanks Michelle - I'm glad it worked :)

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    2. Congratulations on your WEP award!
      Your story was really lovely with all those layers... a well deserved win.

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  26. Going for a lot of feels there!!! Powerful.

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  27. So sad, but uplifting at the same time - so much love! Wonderful job.

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  28. Oh, how beautiful. Reminds me of my father...

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  29. HUGE congratulations on your WEP award.

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    1. Thanks so much, Sue. What a thrill - there were so many great stories!! :)

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  30. Congratulations on your win. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely story.

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    1. Thanks Toi!
      As always, yours was fabulous!

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