Welcome to the Twitter Chats Blog Tour, organized by Mari Juniper at Mari's Randomities and Anne Tyler Lord at Don’t Fence Me In. Today's theme is Mother's Day.
You'll be traveling with us through the blogs of some of the fantastic authors and writers who participate in our weekly -- funny, entertaining and educating -- Twitter chats. This tour will feature writers from #writechat, #litchat, and #fridayflash.
You will be directed to your next stop at the end of this post. Please feel welcome here, and have a happy Mother's Day!
Welcome to those of you who have popped on over from Marisa Birns' blog Out of Order Alice! Marisa is a great blogger and I'm thrilled to follow her on the tour. :)
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Mother's Day is always a tough time for some kids. As a teacher, I've come across many kids who don't live with a mom. In some circumstances the kids are living with only a dad, in others the kids live with a stepmom, grandparents or other relatives, in others with a foster parent and yet others live in a group home.
Kids in books often end up in similar circumstances, and it's surprising how many of my favourite characters don't have an official mom in their lives, but they've sure got a mother figure.
Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables fame is an orphan who goes to live with an elderly brother & sister team - Matthew and Marilla. These two share the mother role for Anne. Marilla is tough, structured and hides a great big heart behind a rough exterior. Matthew is quieter, gentler and offers a more obvious kind of love to Anne. Matthew's death still brings me to tears.
Nancy Drew's mom died when she was three - leaving her with her father and housekeeper. My memories are more foggy with Nancy (even though I read every single book several times!) but it seems to me these two adults also shared that essential role of a mother.
Frodo's guiding spirit is his uncle Bilbo in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Gandalf and Aragorn also provide aspects of the mothering role - although neither character is typical mother-figure at all.
Jonas in The Giver has a mother, but she's neither biologically nor emotionally his mother. This is the norm in their community. Jonas doesn't feel the lack until he begins to 'see beyond' the sameness of their community. The Giver, an elderly male, provides much more mothering than his mother ever does.
I'm lucky. I've always had a great mom - and I still have her. Moms or Mother Figures are essential for us and for our characters. We need a 'mom' to guide us, to show us that having a heart and listening to it are vital parts of being human. We need a 'mom' to remind us to stop whining, suck it up and get it done. We need a 'mom' to stand in our corner and show us the real meaning of love, courage and compassion. I hope you are all lucky enough to have had a 'mom' in your life.
In my current ms, I have two MCs. The female was lucky enough to have two solid parents in her formative years. She's learned a lot from both. The male MC was raised by an unrelated elderly man. His mothering techniques varied from, 'You screwed up, you fix it,' to 'Come on, let's find the magic,' to 'I've got your back, take a risk.' Not a bad job of mothering.
So who are the 'moms' in your stories?
PS - Happy Mother's Day Mom!! Luv you! :)
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Thanks for stopping by! Your next stop for the Mother's Day Twitter Chats Blog Tour is Deanna Schrayer's blog The Other Side of Deanna. I just 'met' Deanna recently & I'm thrilled I've done so - she's a great lady. Enjoy your visit :)
The complete list of participants can be found at the host's blogs: Mari Juniper and Anne Tyler Lord.
118 comments:
One of the joys of writing is being able to invent a family structure for our MCs. You're right - they are so important and carry insightful clues to their behavior. Great post!
Thanks Laura! I do love the ability to invent characters and their families. It's a way to live out a whole bunch of crazy fantasies, dreams and even nightmares.
Thanks so much for dropping by! :)
Great post, Jemi! I'm doing in-my-head prep work right now for a new WIP, and it's great fun working out the family structure and seeing how that particular structure has affected my MCs.
Thanks Belle! It is fun plotting out the family and the impact they have on the characters and their actions. :)
Very thoughtful post and an interesting blog tour. I'll have to pop over and check out some of your blogging mates. Thanks for sharing.
Mason
Thoughts in Progress
Thanks Mason! There are some great people posting - I'm sure you'll enjoy the trip! :)
Great post idea! I was raised by my gran, and my husband lost his mom when he was seven, so our characters usually have alternative mother figures or none at all. I'm drawn to similar characters in other people's stories because I relate. As pure wish fulfillment, though, I also love books and film where there are wonderful mother figures. I hope to emulate them one day!
Jemi what a great post! Super fun!! What a fun blog tour!
Lorel - thank you :)
There are so many people who are raised by alternate moms. And these 'moms' do a great job! I just hope everyone has someone who can pull off the job!
I'm sure you'll be a fantastic mom! :)
Thanks Jen - glad you enjoyed it. I hope you manage to visit some of the others - although not everyone has posted yet. :)
What a lovely post and stimulating ideas for writing the family in our stories. In my current WIP, the mother is neither normal nor nice, but that is part of the MC's journey. I'm glad you've raised this issue. Lots to think about.
Thanks Tricia :)
Family does play such a part in who we and our characters are. It's not surprising how big an impact mothers have on our characters and their actions.
My mc's missing mother is a pretty big factor in my current wip. I don't want to bore you with the details, but she finally gets to chance to see her mother after 10 years apart. Unfortunately, her mother doesn't recognize her. Those parts were fun to write.
Susan - that sounds like a great story line. The connections between moms and kids are so much fun to write - they're powerful - even in a case like yours where it's painful.
One of my main characters has a not-so-great mom and the other's mother died in childbirth.
Happy Mother's Day!
Thanks Stephanie! :)
Your characters are real - their stories waiting for you to breathe life into them again. It's interesting that the story line has so much in common with many stories today!
Very interesting post. I still cry through "Anne..." too and even went to PEI to see her island.
So glad you liked your Washington gifts. I so enjoyed picking them out.
Can we imagine Nancy Drew with a mother? Nah, not really! In both my books, and also my wip, mothers play an essential role.
Great post. Makes me want to call my mom. :)
Mothers and daughters always form am integral part of everything I write, whether it be from the mother's PoV or the daughter's.
And talking of mothers, I have spent many pleasant hours trying to make some sense of the mothers in the Harry Potter series.
Very interesting to have a teacher's perspective of what the kids without mother's go through.
I've been thinking a great deal of a dear 6 yr old who's mother, a dear friend of mine, passed away suddenly and completely unexpectedly last October just before her 47th birthday. I hope she has enough Mother figures in her life to draw on, especially given that we're all expats who must move frequently. She certainly has a wonderful father.
For my part, I hope to be a way for her to remember and even know more about her own Mother, as she grows up.
Kristi
I'm experimenting right now with a character whose mother abandoned her when she was little.
I hadn't really thought about teachers and how these issues would affect them and their classes... it's an interesting perspective!
What a great overview of how family dynamics, especially related to the mother figure, can influence our characters, making the story more interesting. Cool post!
Your experience with motherless children is touching Jemi, but great to get material for writing, eh? heh
Kristi -- I'm sorry for your sudden loss. It's very kind of you to volunteer as a mother figure, helping the little girl remembering her mother. Touching. :)
What a great idea!
And I love Anne Shirley. I'm lucky too that my mum was always around and was a brilliant parent. Funny, none of my MSs has really featured mothers too much, though!
What a great idea!
And I love Anne Shirley. I'm lucky too that my mum was always around and was a brilliant parent. Funny, none of my MSs has really featured mothers too much, though!
Carol - I love Anne - one of these days I'll make the trek to PEI as well :)
And I do love the goodies from DC - I've always heard so much about the cherry festival - it looks gorgeous!
Karen - I know - Nancy was so independent and grown up - loved her as a character! One of my faves.
It's nice to hear of mothers playing strong roles in for the main characters!
Shannon - awww - what a good idea! Maybe we should all give our moms a call :)
Thanks for dropping by!
Rayna - I think the mom-daughter bond is very strong. And you're right about the HP series - an interesting group of mother figures! :)
Kristi - what a sad situation. It's going to be tough for her and her dad. I'm so glad she's got you to help out. She'll be afraid of losing those memories as she gets older. You'll be a great connection for her. Take care.
Thanks for dropping by. :)
India - that will make a strong story line for your novel!
Yes, as teachers, we see so many kids who hurt. It's so important to give them some ways to cope and some connections with other adults.
Mari - thanks so much :) I see so many kids who need people to make connections with them because they don't have anyone. And then others who've been through so much, but come out strong because of one strong adult connection.
Talli - thanks :)
It's interesting to think of the mother dynamic in our stories. In YA, there are so many variations - makes for fun reading!
This is a great post! I love Anne of Green Gables. I felt so bad for her when they were going to give her back!
I'm lucky to have a great mom as well as other mother figures in my life.
Some of my characters have moms, and other don't. It really does form who they are, though.
My main character lost his mom at a young age and eventually finds someone who fills the role of mom, dad, brother, and friend.
Unfortunately, I didn't grow up in a stable household. Nor was my mother very stable. I think the lack of a solid mother-daughter relationship permeates many of my manuscripts.
The funny thing is that writing fiction and borrowing the feelings, rather than most of the circumstances, has made me move past it. My last two manuscripts barely touch on those issues.
All of my manuscripts have mothers. One doesn't have a father. I like adding the family relationships with children and teens.
Great post, Jemi! And you reminded me of one of the best things about my mom, and one I didn't understand until she was gone. She was the one person who, without exception, was always on my side. Even when I was clearly wrong. I sure miss that.
Donna
What a great post Jemi! You're so right - without that mother figure, whether it be the biological mom or even a ghost, we'd all be lost.
Your comment about "suck it up and get it done" struck a cord. Oh, how many times I heard that in my life! :)
Happy Mother's Day weekend!
Indie: I'd suggest you talk to some adults who may have been separated form their mothers as children. I know a couple, and believe me, even into their 50s and 70s, it still hurts! You'd be surprised, even though they had loving, close relationships as adults, and even saw their mothers yearly.
Very interesting, tender and enlightening.
Kristi
Very nice! there are all kids of moms, and you did a great job of showing that.
The last paragraph reminded me of my sister-in-law. My brother told her once that there are two kinds of moms - the mother hen, who keeps her chicks close and warm and guides their steps. And then there is her kind, the wolf mother. "remember how i showed you to catch that squirrel to eat last week? now it's your turn. get hunting!" *lol*
Happy mother's day, to all the different kinds of moms!
Lovely post Jemi. My own Mum is lovely but I think I'm making her paranoid as neither of the two Mom's I've written are particularly great :)
Techtrigger - Now I'm wondering if I'm a Mother Hen or a Wolf Mom :)
Very cool, Jemi. What a great idea.
One of my MCs was abandoned by her mom, well, both parents, really, and it's affected every aspect of her life including her relationships. My other MC has two strong, supportive parents. In fact his mom figures prominently in the second book of the trilogy.
Happy Mother's Day!
Aubrie - Anne's one of my all-time favourite characters! The first time I read it I was devastated when I thought she'd go back.
I'm glad you were lucky with your role models too. They are so important for both us and our characters :)
Alex - it is really interesting how many strong characters are created by a strong mother figure - or created by the lack of one. Finding that all important person is so important.
Theresa - it must have been so difficult growing up in that kind of situation. I'm always impressed with people who learn to not only cope and survive, but learn to deal and thrive! Sounds like you've got a real good handle on things :) I like working with family relationships too!
Karen - you've done well to overcome what you went through. Being able to find strong people who can share your love is so important :)
I love the different perspectives on motherhood and mentoring!
Donna - thanks! :)
Mom's are great like that - they always have our backs!!
Deanna - Yup - I heard the 'suck it up' type comment many times growing up :) And I've used it on my own kids many a time too!
I love the wide variety of people who become unofficial moms!
Kristi - you're so right - many of the kids I've taught have come back to visit and chat. Abandonment issues don't go away easily (if ever). It takes a lot of work and patience and belief.
Techtigger - love it! I think I've been both kinds of moms at different times in my kids' childhoods - hen & wolf - with a definite lean to the wolf side :)
Alexa - lol :)
If my mom ever reads my stuff she may wonder as well. I've had a variety of moms in my stories - but most of them are not that great!
VR - nice to hear of one of the moms in our stories being great! I think in YA if we want our MCs to be independent we tend to 'get rid of' the moms. :)
Tony - it's really great to read all of the different posts isn't it :) I hope to check out the ones I haven't got to yet tonight!
Good points about fictional mothers. In my WIP my MCs mother plays an integral role in trying to keep her wayward son grounded to the values of his upbringing and acts as a touchstone for those values. His actions directly affect his mother and results in his ultimate changing of his lifestyle.
I think this is often the role of a mother in many lives-- to remind us of those who loved us and the dreams they had for us, which in turn can help us strive for better things in our lives and pass those values on to our own children.
Lee
Tossing It Out
Lee - I love the idea of the mom being the touchstone - so true in so many cases - real and fictional.
I agree - so many moms and substitute-moms have given so many values and strengths to so many children over the years - me included :)
Happy Mother's Day Jemi! :)
Jemi, what a great post! You have me thinking about all my favorite books now - and can't forget all those motherless characters from Disney.
I really enjoyed your perspectives and insights. And, it must be sad to see a lot of motherless children at school. I hope that they have someone in their lives to fill the gap.
Thanks so much for joining the tour!
Karen - thank you! And a very happy mother's day to you as well :)
Thanks so much Anne!
The kids at school touch me in so many ways. Their strength and ability to thrive rather than just survive some situations are incredible. I'm a lucky lady to know them.
The tour has been wonderful - thanks so much for having me along for the ride! :)
This is such a beautiful post! I can't wait to see my mommy this weekend!!!
Love all those books you mentioned especially Anne of Green Gables!
What a great post about mother figures! And it made me realize that I don't have mothers playing much of a big role at all in my stories. Hm. Must evaluate why.
It also made me realize yet again that I have two mother figures in my own life: my own mom, and my aunt, who was the one who introduced me to reading in a big way. So I am luckier than a lot of people.
I'm really enjoying this Blog Tour, and you wrote a great tour of your own, through so many literary mother figures. Thanks so much!
Laura - Anne certainly has a way of worming herself into your heart and staying there. I so wanted to be her friend!
Enjoy a visit with your mom! :)
Thanks Phyl! I'm glad the post has you thinking.
So many YA stories don't have mother figures. My theory is that it's good to have the character be independent and work things out on his or her own. At least for some of the stories.
There are a lot of great posts on the tour - glad you came by for the visit! :)
The Anne of Green Gables series was my favorite when I was a pre-teen. It was so nice to see you reference it here. In one of my MC's the male was raised by a mom who divorced his alcoholic dad, re-marries a farmer, and he is transplanted from the city to a small time farm, gaining step siblings.
Lynn - I read all of LMM's books over and over again when I was young. Loved Anne! :)
That sounds like a great basis for a book - so many layers of emotions going on for the boy. Lots of emotional conflict = great book! :)
I'm positive the writer's of the Disney movies all hated their mothers.
As for my female MC, her parent's disappeared when she was 12 and the plot revolves around her plans to find out what happened to them.
The male MC is a total Momma's boy His mother is the only person in the world that the female MC is scared of--and she deals with Russian trafficker along the way, lol ;)
Tara - lol :) I think you're right!
I love the sound of your plot! That's one awesome mama :) Can't wait to read it one day!
Aww, what a sweet post! Some good stories in there ;o)
Wonderful post, Mum's are great :o) Do we have the same Mother's Day? Ours is on Sunday 9th
Thanks Erica :) Those are some of my all time favourite books!
Niki - thanks :) Our Mother's Days are the same day! Hope you have a great one! :)
We all have 'em! They shape us from the beginning like lumps of clay, for better and worse but I'll take mine over anyone else!
Michael - I totally agree - I'll take mine first! :)
What a great blog tour, Jemi! I have an amazing mom, but I admit I'm drawn to writing stories about orphans. Something about their charisma, their strength, call to me.
And unrelated, I tagged you in a meme on my blog.
Have a great weekend! :o)
Okay, I'm losing my mind. You already saw your meme! Sorry!
Now I'm off to follow on the blog tour..
Jackee - you crack me up! :)
It is fun to write about how kids cope without parents - but I'm glad I didn't have to live like that :)
Thanks again for the tag!!
Great post, Jemi and happy Mothers Day for Sunday!
I hope you'll be spoiled rotten :)
Nice post, Jemi! My mom rocks--she's the sweetest person I know. <3
Your WIP sounds interesting!
Have a great weekend! Enjoy Mother's Day!
Wendy - thanks so much :)
Hope you enjoy a great weekend!
Dawn - I hope you mom reads your comment! That's so cool!
Thanks - I'm hoping it'll interest someone someday! :)
Enjoy the weekend!
Great post Jemi! Our MC's mom is completely obsessed with work, so she's around, but distracted and that definitely has an impact on her personality and the events of the book.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!
LiLa - thanks :)
So many teens have moms exactly like the one in your story - lots of girls will be identifying with her!
Happy Mother's Day to you as well! :)
Happy mother's day.
I write YA, and the mom characters are always pivotal to the story. They are loving, but throw obstacles in the MC's way.
I don't have any moms in my book. My protagonist lost his parents a year before. But that's another story for another day and another book.
Stephen Tremp
Thanks Medeia - to you as well :)
That's a great description of a mom - lots of love and lots of obstacles! :)
Stephen - that does indeed sound like a great story for another book!
Nice post. Hope your Mother's Day is a great one with loved ones around you.
Helen
Straight From Hel
Thanks Helen - I wish you the same. It looks to be a fun filled day :)
What an excellent and lovely post. Thank you so much for sharing. My manuscripts tend to have mothers who were not so good, then somewhat redeemed or, as is the case in the last two, dead. I'm thinking a psychologist would have a field day with that information. And, now that I think about it, this is something for me to consider and move in a different direction with for other characters.
Thanks Kimberly :)
LOL - I always wonder what kinds of things the psychologists would have to say about us from our writing too.
Have fun with your characters!
I suppose I have all sorts of mother figures in my stories. That's the fun part about writing--you get to explore all the different sides of yourself (as a mother, included) and all the different types of people you're glad you are not! :)
Carol - exactly! It's so much fun to 'become' those people and adopt those personalities when we're writing - both good & evil. :)
Great post - my Nan lived next door - she had a huge influence in my life.
It wasn't until after I finished my book that I realized how prevalent mother characters were in it. As a writer, I regard them as sacred, both in a literal and figurative sense. Their capacity for love and emotional cultivation strikes a chord within me that I imagine I will be exploring for many years to come.
Jemi - very interesting post and an important reminder that many people get their "mothering" from other people besides their mothers! And it's such an important factor to consider in our writing... My novel that I began during nano was meant to focus on one female mc but a couple of chapters into it I realized that my mc's mother played a much more important role than I realized. I intend to incorporate her into the novel as a much more important figure & focus on the juxtaposition of their two very different lives - mother and daughter.
Michelle - you're a lucky one! My grandparents were in another country. We exchanged letters and met a few times, but it's not the same.
Cafelopez - Thanks :)
The mother role is strong, vital and certainly multi-faceted - just like real moms. You could spend an entire writing career exploring it!
Thanks so much for dropping by :)
PJ - thanks!
That sounds like a great storyline for your novel. It's an intriguing dichotomy if their lives and circumstances are different.
Thanks for dropping by! :)
In my chapter book, my mom is very present and sturdy.
In both of my middle grade novels, my MC's enjoy supportive moms who are on the periphery, but not absent by any means.
My YA has a mom that has been oppressed by an abusive husband and is trying desperately to get out. My MC doesn't realize this until mid-way through the book. Until that point, she believed that both parents were oppressive and abusive.
Wow, that would have been an awesome blogfest idea, to post scenes with the MC's mother. Maybe for Father's day?
Even though my MC is grown, I do have a few scenes with his mother when he goes to visit home.
Oh, and I LOVE Anne of Green Gables. I bet I read it a half dozen times, at least. I haven't read The Giver yet, but my sister gave me an old copy her school was tossing out.
I always make a point to at least investigate my MC's parents if not include them in the manuscript. Parents are so important, especially moms.
Cat - wow - that's quite the range of moms! I like moms being strong and on the periphery with MG. Kids at that age enjoy the 'pretense' of independence but need the support of their parents or some other adult. :)
Mary - I always assumed Anne of GG was a purely Canadian favourite - it's interesting to see how many fans she has from around the world.
You're right - it would make a great blogfest idea!
I think it reveals a lot about a character when we see them interact with a parent.
Lisa - I totally agree. Parents have a vital role in creating who we are and who our characters are. No one can be unaffected by their parents. :)
What a lovely post idea!!! I love learning more about my characters background, knowing who the parents are and how they react with the MC is a crucial part of the story, it shows you how the character can handle certain situations!!
Thanks Jen :)
Parents are such an integral part of people and characters. Knowing them sure helps us know what makes our characters tick. One of my MCs thinks a lot about her parents when she's making those big decisions :)
My current WIP is a 13yr old boy with no mother. In this story it gives him something to yearn for. I think a lot of Disney stories end up with the character loosing one or both parents, maybe it's a way of forcing them to take action and move the plot along.
Charmaine - I agree. I think fairy tales have lots of kids without parents on scene as a way of empowering the kids. Of course that gets twisted and tweaked in successive incarnations. Some for the good - some not so much :)
I think your storyline sounds great. 13 is a tough age - and tougher without a mom.
We all look for a family to belong to in books. I think it's one of the chief reasons we read. Thanks for a wonderful post. I love Ann of Green Gables. Marilla and Matthew are the best, and Ann is the spunky girl I wish I was. :)
Roxy - I think you're right - I had a great family but I still loved imagining being someone else. And Anne was the perfect kind of child to imagine being :)
I loved this post! But it is so true to remember that a family does not have to have the traditional mom, dad, kids, etc. A family is connected by love and not just blood.
Hey Jemi,
Stopping by again to tell you I gave you an award over at my blog!
Julie - exactly - I love that "a family is connected by love and not just blood". So very true. I've seen so many examples of awesome 'moms' who aren't moms at all :)
Thanks Lydia! You're a sweetie - I'll pop on over :)
Thanks for writing about the role of mothering, rather than the physical body of a gestational host. I lost my sister when she was 29, she left a 5-year-old son. I tried to fill a mothering role for him through the years. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.
Carolyn - it sure is. I'm so glad for the little guy that you were there for him. So many kids in that situation have no one. He's a lucky boy. Thanks so much for stopping by.
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