You know the feeling.
- you wave at someone ... and no one waves back
- you ask a question ... and no one answers
- someone cuts you off in mid-sentence ... again
- someone comes up with a great idea that everyone loves ... the same one you mentioned 10 minutes before that no one seemd to hear...
I've felt like the invisible woman more than once lately. Both online and off.
When I finally enter those query wars later this year, will it be the same? Probably. :)
Along with Harry's cloak, I think I'll need more than a drop of his courage when the time comes!
Do you ever feel invisible? Where do you find your courage to take the next step in the process?
(Check out Alex J Cavanaugh's blog for more posts in the Insecure Writer's Support Group)
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And, onto the winner! Remember back on my last post, Becca Puglisi visited and offered up a PDF copy of The Emotion Thesaurus - the brilliant resource written by her and Angela Ackerman - the fabulous minds behind the Bookshelf Muse blog? Well, it's time to announce the winner. I used the old reliable Random.org and it chose lucky #7. So, the winner is...
Beth at Muses and Meringues! *throws confetti*
Congratulations, Beth! I'll forward your email to Becca & we'll get you that copy of the book!
59 comments:
I know this feeling, Jemi. All of the above has happened to me. I have upswings, though. The good balances the bad.
Remember it just takes that one yes. One agent will take notice.
I too recognise this. I suspect it's mainly in our heads... although the bit about people coming up with an idea that you suggested earlier makes me hopping mad when it happens to me.
I'm now singing that musical song Mr Cellophane in my head, the one from Chicago!
I'm going to give you virtual hugs because I really know how that feels!
I know the feeling especially at the doctor's, everything get swept under the carpet and I come away none the wiser.
I will take things further I will write to the practice manager and see if he/she can do anything.
Yvonne.
I think this is a feeling we ALL know, though it is far worse for some than for others. When you join the ranks of the querying, there will probably be days when you *wish* it were like that!
The older I get the more invisible I become. It does take courage to query. And query again, and again. But somehow I think you'll do just fine.
Congratulations to Beth!
Just keep making noise, Jemi. Some one will eventually hear you. And that's how you do it at every step of the process - you just keep on.
Lovely Jemi!!! You must not be invisible - only if you choose to be!! Stand tall and speak out loud and clear! You are worth listening to! Your words are worth reading. Your thoughts and ideas are worth vocalising! In the words of L'Oreal - it's cos you're worth it! Seriously!!
:-) Take care
x
I totally know that feeling Jemi. And we may be going through those query wars together. We should cheer each other on. And remember, you're never invisible to us, your blogger friends.
I'm kind of quiet and YES I've been there many times. I'm like everyone else I want to shine and be noticed.
Congrats to the winners.
teresa
Medeia - so true! It's just so overwhelming to imagine! :)
Rosalind - that's a great song! I think it'll be stuck in mine now too!
Karen - that's so true. Stagnation isn't fun in the least! I do like a challenge - but I need to take more than a few deep breaths before I start! :)
Kyra - thanks os much! It does help to know I'm not alone feeling that way!
Yvonne - taking that extra step to get noticed is a very smart thing to do - not always easy, but smart! Good luck!! :)
Jeff - so true! I think invisibility might be better than some things!!!
Yvonne O - thank you! I'm hoping I can dig out some of that courage when the time comes :)
Alex - thanks! I'll take a few really deep breaths and make some noise! :)
Old Kitty - you just made me all teary eyed!! Seriously :) When I do start querying, I'm going to definitely want you in my corner!!! thank you!
Natalie - thanks so much! I think we should get matching pompoms and create our own cheering squad!!! :)
Teresa - I actually much prefer the background - I don't like being the front of the crowd. But it does feel good to get noticed :)
Yes, I'm often invisible at home. But never when I really want to be, like when I'm in my daggy track pants and stained t-shirt because it's frumpy day and I don't want to care how I look. That's when I'm not invisible and everyone I pass in the street is someone I know and wants to chat. It's the day I most likely to bump into an old sweetheart who's gone on to be really successful and is all clean shaven in their Ralph Lauren polo shirt.
Yeah, I have often felt invisible. I wonder if that's why I write. TO get my voice out there.
Congrats to the winner of the thesaurus. It's a great resource.
Congratulations to Beth.
And, yes, I often feel like the unseen figure, the unheard voice.
I'm sending positive thoughts and vibes your way, Jemi. I hope things start looking brighter for you soon!
I know that feeling . . .and I say, interrupt right back! I come from a family of interrupters, so I've unfortunately had a lot of practice at being that rude. Sometimes I just have to be determined to be noticed. Of course, there are also days when I long for that invisibility cloak and it seems to be missing . . .you know when you fall flat on your rear in front of a crowd of people? That always seems to be the moment when I become noticeable.
I sometimes wonder if all writers are invisible. Maybe not some though. I at least know of one who more then likely isn't, but he is very outspoken as well.
Me, I'm like you, invisible. Being naturally shy though, I don't mind too much.
I am entering the query wars too, Jemi! We will make our voices heard, I'm sure of it.
i'm probably one of the plowers...sorry!
but seriously, i do speak up, but i dont steal ideas =)
your voice will be heard thru your writing & query! we are all invisible to the wrong agents, until the right one finds us! never fear!
oh yeah--i feel like that a lot!!
There are days where I feel like I can take on the world and days where I feel like a particle of dust.
It just depends on the day and that's what I tell myself when I feel like a dust mote!
Hi Jemi! I understand what you are saying. I kind of like working behind the scenes, so I guess I've self-imposed the invisibility thing. Probably not a good thing for a writer who wants to one day be published, eh?
Charmaine - that's exactly the way it always goes! Always!!! :)
Clarissa - I never thought of it that way! Maybe that's part of it for me too! :)
Linda - it can be an overwhelming feeling - especially when it happens a lot in short sequence!
Elsie - thank you! It's almost always terrific - there are just those moments when it's ... not!
Tyrean - that kind of visibility I can do without!! And it does seem to happen far too often :)
Jack - that's the way it is for me too. I'm most certainly not a person who enjoys being the center of attention - but being ignored isn't fun either!
Julie - I hope so! We'll have to get our pompoms out and cheer each other along!
Tara - I love that - our voices will be heard by the right ears/person! :)
Lynn - maybe we're all sharing a really big invisibility cloak! :)
Johanna - that's so true. Like so much else, it's like a roller coaster - full of ups and downs :)
Susanne - I think that's a big part of it for me too. I'm not good at being the center of attention :)
Congrats, Beth!!!
Invisible is how I feel when I've tried to contribute to a #twitterchat. That's why I don't bother. :)
There are times I feel completely invisible and other times I feel like the mayor. I guess everything goes in cycles. I hope we both get noticed when the time comes!
Enjoy the book Beth. It's great.
Heather
Stina - that's happened to me more than once as well. Some chats are more insular that others!
Heather - it does go in cycles. I think most things do - part of nature :)
ALL the time! My "Eeyore" personality regularly thinks, and some times says, "Thank you for noticing me!"
Beth - it's hard being invisible ... instead of when it's okay :)
congrats to Beth!!
And yes, I have that invisible thing happening all the time!! So frustrating!!! When you learn how to overcome it, let me know!
Jemi, the older I get, the more invisible I feel. I was on a flight Monday from Illinois to Colorado and the flight attendant asked the guy in the seat next to me if he needed connecting flight information. He didn't even make eye contact with me, much less ask the question. I plan to knock off a male flight attendant in my next mystery novel. Hah! Take that!
Lynda - I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen any time soon! But I'll work on it :)
Pat - that's so rude! But I LOVE your revenge!!! :)
Ugh. I hate feeling invisible. Sorry your cloak is messing with things for you! I bet if you try to do something without anyone seeing you it will stop working. ;)
Thanks, Jemi! Becca sent the thesaurus through this morning and I'm absolutely loving it. What a great prize!
I have my moments of invisibility too. It's frustrating, isn't it?
Jean - so true! That's exactly the type of thing it takes to make the cloak disappear!
Beth - that's awesome! We do quick work (well, Becca does :)) - it's such a great resource!
Congrats, Beth. You are going to LOVE The Emotion Thesaurus. I feel invisible after a round of queries without any requests. Ouch.
Leslie - that's what I'm afraid of! Those query trenches are frightening! :)
If two invisible people hang out together in a room, do they ignore each other or commiserate?
I'll be your invisible friend and commiserate. I've had my share of invisibility experiences.
Lydia - teehee! I think we would most definitely commiserate! And it would be fun :)
I wish I could become invisible for real whenever I wanted to, but yes I've felt that sense of being ignored often. I don't like to make a lot of ruckus to get attention and it seems like those are the types of people who tend to get noticed the most.
Lee
A Faraway View
An A to Z Co-host blog
Lee - yup - that voluntary invisibility wouldn't be a bad thing at all! But involuntary - not so much :)
Oh, I have felt like the invisible woman so often. That last one, the coming up with an idea that gets completely overlooked and then watching someone get credit for the same idea right after, that one has happened a lot lately. It happened to me several times in the last few months IN WRITING!! As in, it was in email exchanges, right there, in writing, for all to see, and someone else got the pat on the back. Sigh. So be it. Good luck with those query wars.
Shannon - Yikes! That's SO frustrating!!! And you can't usually say much without sounding like a twit... *sigh* Thanks! I'm hoping by saying it 'out loud' here on the blog, I'll actually do it! :)
I think that's one of the many paradoxes of being human - we're such unique, special individuals...and yet we are no more special than any of the other 7 billion humans crowding this earth. It's those moments of feeling invisible that (painfully) remind us of the latter part of the equation.
Good luck when you do send out your query letters!
Judy, South Africa
Judy - so very true. I'd have to say I'm generally quite comfortable being invisible - but there are times it's nice to stand out ... in a good way of course :)
Sure. I was standing in line at Starbucks and the barista took the order ahead of me, then behind me. I'm like, "What am I, invisible today?"
Stephen - that's so frustrating! I hate when things like that happen - hope you got your order!!! :)
I remember the first time I felt invisible. I was waiting in a store to be help and this pretty young thing came in and the sales clerk asked if he could help her. Okay, so I'm not a pretty young thing anymore, but sheesh. Oh well. I'm glad I'm not alone.
Kathi - that will do it! I hate when people just look through me too. Thankfully it doesn't always happen :)
You know what's even more difficult? I spent my entire life trying to remain invisible, and now I'm trying to stand out with my writing. Talk about switching the tables! :)
DL - me too! I've never, ever liked being the center of attention - so I totally get you! :)
I totally get this Jemi. We all are guilty of feeling invisible at times. All the best with your agent querying, my friend.
Nas - thank you! It's terrifying to take those steps that might take me from the safety of invisibility. I figure if I put it out here, I'll have to do it! :)
Must be a writer thing, this invisibility thing. Quiet, usually. In front of the computer or hunkered over a yellow lined tablet. Thinking about a scene they're writing. Yep, that has to be it, or at least part of it--the reason for their invisibility. That cloak is a great idea. I'm off to find me one of those, then I can stop feeling so invisible without cause.
Here's to more Insecure Writers. And congratulations to Beth for winning The Emotion Thesaurus.
Lee - I think it is a writer thing! I've definitely found a lot of writers prefer to be out of the center of attention. I know, I do!
Yes! I definitely know that feeling! So sorry you've had it so much lately. And, yes, I felt that way a lot when querying. You know the Maroon Five song "Misery"? It addresses that feeling of invisibility, and was my anthem when I was querying. It helps that they played it on the radio all the time last summer! But at least you know in advance, right? And maybe it won't be like that for you.
Here are the lyrics, by the way:
I am in misery
There ain't nobody who can comfort me
(Oh yeah)
Why won't you answer me
The silence is slowly killing me
Caryn - those are PERFECT lyrics! I'm definitely adding that to my playlist!! :) I'm sure it'll happen to me - but I'm prepared ... I hope! :)
Invisibility: I know EXACTLY how you feel because all of those things have happened to me. Multiple times! As the "quiet one" in my family, I've often struggled to make myself heard ... I still struggle sometimes!
Rachel - me too! I've learned to be much more outgoing in my job - but it's always an effort to be that way!
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