Tuesday, October 19, 2021

WEP Challenge & Predator

Predator

Nella squeezed her eyes shut and opened her mouth slightly. She couldn’t make a sound, not even the sound of a breath.

Her blood roared through her veins and every muscle strained to move. Run. Get away. Go!


But there was nowhere to go. Nowhere to run.


Adrenaline surged and bounced around inside, making her fingers twitch where they hugged her knees into her chest.


No movement. No sound.


Air in, air out.


Slow the breathing. Slow the blood. Slow the brain.


She had to listen, had to hear. But the white noise of panic filled her head.


In and out.


Nella squeezed her toes and relaxed them. The quietest way she could think of to use up some of the adrenaline-fuelled energy.


Slowly, the panic flashes behind her eyes receded and the white noise ebbed. She only hoped it wasn’t too slowly.


She opened her eyes a slit and then a little more. Blackness surrounded her. She couldn’t see. No one could see.


Could it see in the dark? Could it smell her fear and her panic? Were her tiny breaths audible?


A scrape cut the air.


The smallest of sounds. The largest of threats.


Breathe in. Breathe out. Curl the toes, relax. Look. Don’t move.


Blood raced again. Air thickened and refused to process.


Another scrape.


Nella squeezed her lips together. Pressed down hard.


Her breathing quickened and tears built in her eyes.


When light blazed around her, into her, through her, Nella released the scream.


But the predator was the only one who heard.



***

Tagline: When there's nowhere to run



***

The WEP Challenge for this month is The Scream!



You can join the challenge until October 22. We'd love to have even more writers participating!


There are so many ways to interpret a prompt and the WEP writers always produce entertaining stories!


We're asking writers to include a short tagline/blurb with their stories. But, we'll write one up if you struggle to find one or forget!


Looking forward to the entries!


50 comments:

  1. I felt her tension and her fear. And forgot to breathe as I read on...

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    1. Thanks, Sue! Fear is such a difficult emotion to express at times - glad it came across!

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  2. Spellbinding! I was almost holding my breath, as well. "White noise of panic" is a clever phrase.

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  3. thank you Jemi for this halting narrative poem. So full of breath sucking rhythm and beat. fits the painting beautifully.

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    1. Thanks, Susan! I love when writing has rhythm!

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  4. This was a great poem that kept me wanting to read. It was so suspenseful from the beginning.

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  5. Chills! Very perceptive of our body's response to the ultimate fear.

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  6. Nicely suspenseful, Jemi! I loved the short, breath-holding lines to build tension. Great job.

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  7. A scrape cut the air! Love that line. Chilling. Never seeing what is out there is indeed terrifying. Well done.
    Nancy

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    1. Thanks Nancy! It's always fun to write the scary ones :)

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  8. Great story, Jemi. So much tension. I felt I was there, with her, awash with terror.

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    1. Thanks Olga - I'm such a wimp - I'd have been screaming long before Nella!

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  9. Oh, wow, what a scary story. Kept me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens. Great descriptions of how the body tries to fight fear. The ending is perfect.

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    1. Thanks so much, Lenny! Your story is all about fear too!

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  10. Brilliant! I was there right beside her, trying to fight the panic and breathing slowly.

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    1. Thanks, Nila - I do that when I'm reading too! And writing!

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  11. Hi,
    Excellent! I was hoping for a rescue, but there was none.
    Shalom aleichem

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    1. Not this time - flash is always so different from my usual stories!

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  12. Hi Jamie - a wonderful exposition to the painting and prompt ... I thought that when the light came the ending was perfect ... as it pierced her, in, out and around her ... she could and had to release the scream ... well written - cheers Hilary

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    1. Thanks, Hilary! Writing fear is always fun - which might say something about me... :)

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  13. "Writing fear is always fun" :) And my lady, you do it so well!!!
    Just spellbinding! Truly masterful!

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    1. You're the master so that comment totally made my day!!

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  14. You did an amazing job building tension here! Well done!

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  15. Super job! I loved how you structured your sentences to add tension.

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  16. Her fear was so palpable, and the need to remain quiet so intense that it was almost a relief that she could let out that SCREAM when she was found. Till I read the last line.

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  17. I was holding my breath all along! Brilliant writing, Jemi!

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    1. Thanks so much, Shilpa! Fear is fascinating to write!

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  18. I liked the idea but I felt it was over-described, which lost the tension for me. But hey, I'm definitely in the minority!

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    1. Thanks, Jemima - we all have different tastes, which is all part of the fun!

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  19. Excellent tension! Very enjoyable

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  20. Well-crafted scary build-up to the scream nobody heard - but read with trembling pleasure.

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    1. Thanks, Roland!! It's always fun to write fear :)

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  21. Tension build up is good, Jemi!

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